Summit Push and Big Decisions

Making a decision to turn around when so close to the summit is one of the easiest yet heart wrenching decisions ever. I say easy because your life flashes before you and you immediately think of those you love and want so desperately to see again. I say heart wrenching because you have invested so much to get to this moment of choice. We left at 8:00 pm and had been climbing in the dark for nine hours.....as the sun was beginning to hit our faces we were standing just below the French couloir at approximately 8,250m. I knew the summit was just a little over 150m and two hours away. The sun would warm us.....the climbing was not difficult.....we had come so far....for a split second we all thought, we are going to make it....then the lead Sherpa signaled for us to retreat by circling his arm in the air. My heart sunk yet I was the first to turn....no questions to ask... just start walking down. My husband, my family and my friends were in my thoughts. I had everything to lose and absolutely nothing but my name on a list (Himalayan database) to gain.

My oxygen system had failed at camp three and while delivering a slight flow of O's it was unreliable, it was very windy, and our Sherpa team ran out of fixed rope and could not protect the couloir (while it was 5.4 - 5.5 rock climbing, going up was easy, coming down without oxygen could be devastating) and my climbing partner had previously turned around. Bottom line, I was not willing to take the risk. It would be an additional 3-4 hours round trip to complete the last 100m. It would take me another 12 hours to get back to the safety of C2 for a total summit bid of 25 hours. To turn now would still be a 21 hour day. On an 8,000m peak it has to be 100% no question to proceed. I had three very fast reasons to turn around. No rope, no partner, and no guaranteed oxygen flow. I heard my grandma tell me to play it safe and be smart.

Here is a little taste what you leave on the table when you turn and walk away:
3 months with no work and therefore no income.
$13,500 for a spot on the expedition.
$2,500 airline ticket to Kathmandu (29 hours each way)
$3,000 in incremental/new/lost/damaged gear.
$400 in excess baggage.
$350 in evacuation insurance.
$1,000 in unexpected helicopter cost.
$600 in high altitude medications.
$1,000 in oxygen.
$900 in mask and regulator.
$750 in staff tips.
$750 in incremental travel costs.
58 days living out of a duffle.
8 years of weekly weight lifting sessions with Chris Morris (pure hell).

What I gained is a newfound respect and appreciation as to why so few have stood on top of this mountain. My hat goes off to those who have completed the journey. It was great to witness our German friends reach the summit! They were strong, fast and qualified. There is no gimme on this mountain. Makalu goes to only those who are 100% dialed and ready. In summation, Makalu kicked my ass but I love her more than any other mountain for reminding me who is in charge :-). The experience was simply priceless.

Tonya

 

Around 7 AM...on the way back down from our summit push..